June 2011
5 tags
Why you need to sleep with a teddy bear.
deadsunsanddyingstars:
I sleep with Shadow the Hedgehog and black Spider-man plushies. I think my bases are covered.
1 tag
Not sure if troll... →
It’d cost me $275 to have Sarah gargle 2oz of my milk for 15 seconds…
3 tags
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The first time you saw porn on tumblr
vib392:
“is this legal?!”
Now its just like:
that moment when I'm fighting with someone online...
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An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to...
Professor: You are a Christian, aren’t you, son?
Student: Yes, sir.
Professor: So, you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.
Professor: Is God good?
Student: Sure.
Professor: My brother died of cancer, even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn’t. How is God good, then? Hmm?
(Student was silent)
Professor: You can’t answer, can you? Let’s start again, young fella. Is God good?
Student: Yes.
Professor: Is Satan good?
Student: No.
Professor: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From.. God.
Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student: Yes.
Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student: Yes.
Professor: So who created evil?
(Student didn’t answer)
Professor: Is there sickness? Immortality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
Student: Yes, sir.
Professor: So, who created them?
(Student had no answer)
Professor: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son.. have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.
Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your God.
Student: No, sir.
Professor: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God, for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.
Professor: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, Science says your God doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my Faith.
Professor: Yes, Faith. And that is the problem Science has.
Student: Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor: Yes.
Student: And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor: Yes.
Student: No, sir, there isn’t.
(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events)
Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of Heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There was a pon-drop silence in the Lecture Theatre)
Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?
Student: You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light… But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and it’s called Darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, You would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?
Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student: Sir, my point is, your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
Professor: Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student: Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Professor: If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes of course, I do.
Student: Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going)
Student: Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?
(The class was in uproar)
Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?
(The class broke out into laughter)
Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? .. No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable and Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures?
(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable)
Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student: That is it, sir.. exactly! The link between man and God is Faith. That is all that keeps things alive and moving!
The student's name was Albert Einstein. Brilliant.
Has anyone seen a shaved bear?
kp-yo:
trewatson:
brozorfs:
sexualpastry:
beinggreene:
jockojill:
They look so creepy
wow. Not meant to be.
sup nightmares
Its like a giant rat. They seem less scary with hair now.
i just freaked out.
dear god
I think it looks kinda cool. Like a whole new animal.
That feeling of dread after you click "send" on an...
And then the dreadful wait for the reply after.
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OFFICIAL PETITION FOR FREE DILDOS TO ALL TUMBLR...
huliia:
heartmeanseverythiiing:
This needs at least 1 million “signers” before it makes its way to the Tumblr staffs dashboard. REBLOGS count only. It just takes a minute to make a difference.
REBLOG FOR DILDOS.
I will like the new layout for free dildos
I’d like mine in electric blue, please.
Man gets ass kicked by SWAT for wife's student... →
jonathan-cunningham:
Kenneth Wright does not have a criminal record and he had no reason to believe a S.W.A.T team would be breaking down his door at 6 a.m. on Tuesday.
“I look out of my window and I see 15 police officers,” Wright said.
Wright came downstairs in his boxer shorts as the officers team barged through his front door. Wright said an officer grabbed him by the neck and led him...
CLOVERFIELD
There will never be a sequel.
My mom just suggested that I put strawberry...
So I did.
The Amazing Sasuke
kakuguu:
ameliazan:
populationgo:
Only available in Taiwan and Japan, this McDonald’s Happy Meal Toy is a big hit and currently becoming a meme. It’s original spring loaded design to do a backflip (but fails to do so seen here), is not what makes it so popular— it’s Sasuke’s power to practically balance anything upon his head!
[Gizmodo] [blogspot]
I want fifty.
2 tags
"When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a...
melodymemories:
elizabethjanie:
stormriver:
in-explicablelove:
oneendlesssummer:
mrs-criss:
nerdnation:
oh my god
BEST JOKE.
I FUCKING CHOCKED
AAAAHAHAHHAHA lol
LOL
J’ADORE. LOLOLOL
I don’t even… xD.
/ded
